Sometimes hate is not enough

I don’t know where to begin, Let’s get help from my friends and start by answering them.

2 friends told me that I’m only talking of negative in my life and then asked me about positive things in my life, ok, that’s a fair question, but need some thinking to find if there are something positive.

Maybe I’m missing many stuff, but I can recall that I have good cyber friends in my life which seems they care about me and it’s a good thing, maybe not all of them are who they claim to be but I’ve some good friends between them. I have a kind mother and a sister, I have a father, even though I have some words about my family. I’ve never been left hungry like the kids in Africa or I’ve never been attacked physically by my family, these are good things, see…! I tried to see positive things in my life.

Ok, so what? Enough to reason to live? I don’t think so, I’ve stronger reason for denying that. Did you ever lost anything in you life? how matter it was for you? How many times you failed in your life? Passing more than half of your life with no good, having no hope for your future, fighting with yourself without any result, loosing all the chances in your life, becoming boring for your best friends, disappointing everyone, watching yourself going down, what’s this? I think accepting it is not wise, hurting self…

People try to help me, but it hurts me when I see how they show love and I disappoint them, I see my friend’s wife tell me that I’m their only friend and when I look at myself I see what a boring and useless friend they have, sad for those who I’m their only friend.

And when you want the best and you get the worst, when you want to be an idealist and your ideal get lower and lower, and when you imagine a bright future for yourself and you end up in… What’s that? Life? pfffff……………..

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